Motherhood & The Creative Hustle

Showing up as a sturdy mom has always been my top priority since becoming a mother. Funny enough, well before becoming a mom I became hyper focused on the development of my character, on the mission to be the best version of myself I could with the knowledge that who I would become would be the biggest indicator of who my children could be.

Needless to say I knew I wanted to be a mom from a young age. Being a little boy crazy and yearning for family, when it all started coming together and I had my first little boy I was in complete awe of him. All of the negative things people like to share about their experiences in parenthood evaporated. Still to this day I look at my two little men and think they will be the most incredible things I’ll ever create in my lifetime.

I was a stay at home mom, until I wasn’t if you catch my drift. I am now a single mom working a full-time job, a lot different than what I would have ever expected my life to look like. Nonetheless, I have tried to take it with strides and keep my head up as much as possible. Through the whole process of healing I forced myself to reflect on all aspects of my life before and after the marriage.

There I discovered many dreams that have resided in me alongside parenthood that I had always tried to execute in various ways without fully having a grasp on what I was aiming for. In reflecting I can see that I was pretty fearful to take my full dream and run with it. To be an artist, to adorn walls of homes, to inspire other creative people and moms alike who want their houses to be an oasis that is so badly needed.

I believe a lot of moms can relate to this. All moms are creative, and whether you are a mom or parent that stays home or goes to work the home is a foundational place. It can be a place of peace, providing the ability for the mind to wonder, explore, and truly be ones self.

Unfortunately for many the home becomes another chore. There are things that have to be fixed, boxes that never got unpacked, updates waiting to happen, and company seldom held. With kids it can feel even harder to create spaces that feel cohesive with bright colored toys, plastic everywhere, and tiny dinosaurs that I am sure are secretly trying to paralyze my feet.

The more I was home the more I felt this desire to extend what I could do in my home to others. The more I wanted to create a community for so many parents and moms specifically that I knew felt alone. Either physically or emotionally, unseen, almost feeling captive within your own self. Motherhood is the most rewarding thing, and the greatest honor and load a person can hold. The utter responsibility of another human, fully dependent on you, and at the same time just realizing that I found myself relearning how to care for me all over again.

This dream continued to expand into design and how to create a space, both physically in a home and mentally within a community, that catered to moms and all that we go through and experience. To speak up a little bit more about the struggles that go on behind closed doors and shut eyes. Everyone feels alone when no stories are told, but all it takes is one courageous person to give a glimpse of truth and the flood gates of peace can be released amongst many.

I found myself yearning to draw again. Wanting to paint and explore. Drawing was something I always did when I was younger. In fact, my parents and teachers would often compliment and make comments about my art. It might have been the one steady thing in my life that I did that seemed to appease everyone. Yet, it was never something I actually thought a career could be made out of. How could I possibly become an artist?

Right out of college I discovered the world of merchandising and from there landed some contracted jobs to merchandise show rooms at the big trade show in Atlanta. It was an amazing experience and one I will never forget. Having the ability to merchandise a gift shop any way I wanted helped me gain the confidence I needed to do those show rooms in Atlanta and also begin working in some houses. It felt like a dream come true, it was a dream come true. During this time I also was exploring my abilities as an artist, gaining some commissioned projects for a nonprofit, creating a design for coffee mugs, and painting a sign for someone’s basement.

I see all of these as stepping stones guiding me to where I find myself today. There have been so many moments that I have felt down and have mentally beat myself up. Feeling like a failure, like someone who cant make a decision, doesn’t know what I want, or couldn’t follow through on any project. Just a few years ago all of my interests and talents were being forced to align, all the while they were aligned and leading me to this moment. The problem wasn’t my hobbies and dreams, the bigger issue stemmed from me believing I had to make myself smaller. The belief that I couldn’t possibly lean into all of the things that I loved and create magic of it all.

Now that I am a single mom, fully responsible for my two little guys, I have seen what I am capable of. I am learning how amazing I am, as a mother but also just as a human on this earth. My eyes are open to the wisdom I’ve acquired over the years and the discipline I have maintained. Being a mom has become the strongest driver of me moving forward. Motherhood is the reason I will continually pursue and allow myself to explore all of my creative interests. Being a mom has opened my eyes to the common struggles we face to move forward in things that have a positive impact on us as moms.

Managing all of the things that involve full time work, motherhood, and a creative sidle hustle isn’t easy. But to be honest, life isn’t easy and if that is what we are searching for I believe we are on the wrong path. I have learned to embrace the hardness and work that life, goals, and dreams take. It’s what makes it all worth while. It’s what will make me the proudest of myself and shape my character into that of one worthy of my sons. I am after peace and will be on a walk of securing that peace more than I will ever look for ease.

As a mom, and to all you moms and caregivers out there, I hope you give yourself the gift of indulging in a creative act. A daily creative act, whether a doodle, a walk, or a delicious meal, you are deserving of the exploration of the creativity that wells within you.

Create your beauty and admire all that you are.